What If

What if this is all a lie
What if this is all an act
I don't think
I don't think I'll be able to handle that
You pulled me in
You got me wrapped up
In your words
Your makin me believe
Your makin me dream
I don't like it
I don't like it at all
How can I trust
How can I trust everything you say to me so blindly
Where's my head at
Where’d my heart go
You said it yourself
You already know
I'm feeling so lost
But sometimes I'm found
You make my head just spin
And spin and spin around
I can't help it
What you do to me
It’s so magical
So magical yet it hurts
It hurts so much
Cuts me deep
You have no idea what your doin to me
Your cutting me
Making me bleed
But then you heal me
How is it
How is it you do all that
How is it one person can do so much
Can mean so much
I know I'm going to lose you
One day you’ll be gone
I'm so scared
So scared
I'll be gone with you
It hurts
It hurts so bad
To think
To know
You hurt me so bad
I think
I think I have to let you go..
(16/5/11)

Forget The Forgotten

Forget the scars..


Forget the talks..


Forget the tears..


Forget the rare laughs..


I was always there..


For everything..


All these months..


Then..


Someone else comes along


And its like I don't matter no more..


Then you leave..


You leave cuz she does..


You say goodbye to her..


That you need her and she aint there..


Well thanks for that..


Thanks for showing me what I mean to you..


Then..


You said it yourself..


"You mean nothing to me"..


She said you were crying..


While you said those words, you were crying..


You didn't mean it..


It doesn't matter..


That doesn't matter..


You said it..


You can never take it back..


No matter what now..


Those words are never going away..


You'll come to regret this..


You'll realize..


You lost me..


When you need me the most..


You'll come running back..


By then I won't give a fuck..


Not again..


Not anymore..


Forgotten


(21/7/11)

The Glue

I'm tired of being the one who has to hold everyone together
I'm sick of being happy so that they can be happy
I'm annoyed that they get to load off all their problems but I don't get that opportunity
I'm sick of being there for them when they’re not really there for me..
I just need someone.....
Is that too much to ask...
I need someone instead to be asking how I am..
To show they care..
Who won't leave...
Who won't just use me..
Who won't just bitch at me one day and ignore me the next...
I'm tired of being selfless...
I need to be selfish..
(19/7/11)

Eyes

How is it I can just get lost in ordinary brown eyes?


But..


They aren't ordinary, are they?


I looked into them..


What beauty those eyes behold


Yet what pain they conceal


All behind those gorgeous brown windows


Shimmering glass panes 


Hope,


Beauty,


Honesty,


Desire,


Lust..


Love..


Your love


Me.


(19/9/11) 

Promised

How is it that you can leave me
When you promised
You promised you would always be here
Always by my side
Be there for me when I needed you
How can you just leave
Knowing how much you mean to me
How much I like you
How much I care for u
How is it that you can leave
So easily
Without so much as a goodbye
Nothing.
Nada.
Zip.
Just poof..
Disappeared.
As if I meant nothing
Nothing to you.
As if we never had anything.
You know how much you meant to me
But, still you left
How could you be so cruel?

(18/3/11)

Scared

I'm scared
I'm truly scared
Of everything
But mostly
Mostly I'm scared of myself
My memory’s gone to naught
I don't really study
What have I done
Who am I
I can't remember
I'm scared
I'm bipolar?
I have insomnia?
I'm depressed?
What's going on?
I'm scared
I'm alone here
I'm scared

So..

Alone?

(29/5/11)

Easy

I need something for once to be easy
I need one day to go flawless without me working so hard
Working so hard on being happy
On trying to make everyone around me happy
On faking what's really inside
1 thing.
1 day.
I want not to work so hard
I'm tired
I'm giving up
I'm giving in
I'm tired
(20/4/11)