That Knife Wound

Thought you'd at least have my back..


Thought you knew how it felt.. 


Thought we were kinda the same..


Thought you'd be there..


Thought you said you'd be there..


Guess I thought wrong..


Thanks for showing me..


In this world...


You truly are alone.

(16/7/11)

I Miss You

You’re gone for so long


I miss you...


Every breathe I take..


It gets harder


Harder n harder to breathe without you..


I'm suffocating here without you


It hurts so bad..


Not talking..


Not known how you are


It aches..


My heart..


It aches..


My heartbeats weakens with every beat


Slowing down each second I can't talk to you


Calling out to you..


Whispering your name ..


In every beat it whispers your name..


Hoping you hear it..


Please hear it..


Come back to me..


One last time..


It whispers ..


These three fatal words..


I love you


Will it hear them back..?


(16/7/11)

My Soldier

As I see you so hurt


So confused..


So broken..


My heart shatters with you


But you keep it in


Stand straight


Stand tall


And keep your head up


Like the soldier you want to b


Like the soldier you are


So hard


With armor so tough


It hurts to see you like this


In so much pain


But too stubborn n hard to let it out


I have to get in


I need to crack that armor


If just a little


I have to dent it


Before its too late


Before its too late I have to dent it

Help me..

Help me help you...


(18/6/11)

Hate Me

You loved me so much..
I loved...Love you too...
So much that it scares me
It scares me so I can't be with you
I make up so many different excuses..
I did things to screw with it so we wouldn't or couldn't get together
I'm scared of loving you this much ending up with you then having my heart shatter all over again
Maybe not because of you..
But because of me..
Who I am..
Where I'm from.
I know this isn't going to work out..
It can't
We won't end up together..
It hurts so much not to be with you
I know I'm hurting you n I can see it
I can see it in your eyes..
The love burning...
Turning..?
You can't look at me anymore...
You can't speak to me anymore..
Without feeling pain...
You want me to go..
'For now'...
Those 2 words brought a lump to my throat..
Made my eyes well with tears...
Some dripped from my eyes
This lump...
It just grows and grows..
I hate myself for hurting you this bad..
I hate myself for letting you love me...
I hate myself I truly do.
N I want you to hate
I want you to hate me so then you can move on...
Hate me...
Please.. please hate me.
(9/4/11)

You’ve Lost Me

How could you do this to me


I trusted you


I fucking trusted you


With everything I had


I wasn't enough


Why wasn't I enough


What did I do


Did I drive you to this


What was lacking in me


What did I do


Why did you have to go and do this


"Bad self control"?


Was I not on your mind?


We must have been talking at the same time


How could you


Why


Why did you have to go and do this


I knew


I knew


I knew


But I kept denying


Thinking


This time your different


Cuz you said


You said


I was different to you


You loved me


I remember 
I remember what you said …


What happened


When you got me was that all you wanted


Just to have me


And now you don't want me anymore


Dammit!


Why’d you do this to us


All this time


All this time..


I can't trust you


I can never trust you again


You only have yourself to blame


I can't do this


Not anymore


I'm done


The love...


The love is gone


I'm done


You've lost me 


(4/6/11)

I’m With You

I'm with you


Finally I'm with you


I'm actually happy


I think


I think I'm happy


I'm sure I'm happy


But


But it’s weird


I’ve never felt like this before


I love you I know I do


I always have


You just never knew


I never said


I never told


Cuz I knew


I knew you loved me too


To speak the truth


To tell you the truth right now


I was scared


Scared that when you got to know me


When I let you love me


When you knew the real me


You might not like what u see


You might want out


You might want to leave


I couldn’t


Handle that


I can't handle it


If you do that


I’ve let you in though


I love you


I told you


You told me


But everyday


I'm scared


Scared you’ll leave


You said you wanna know my life


I'm scared if you do


You’ll see me in a new light


You might not love me the same


You might just fall out of love with me


I'm scared that that will happen


Don't do that to me


I love you


I trust you


Don't hurt me like I hurt you


Please don't


Please don't


I'm with you


I love you


I truly do


(29/5/11)